How to get back to gym after a family member loss?

How to get yourself to gym if my regular motivation don't work now? With the loss of my father, my motivation is gone too, and of course appetite. I can't eat 5-6 meals today! ;o( And i haven't done any training for a week!

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Permalink Reply by Kai on December 14, 2009 at 8:30am

Elena,

I am so sorry to hear about your loss. Although I know that every situation is different and I don't know "exactly" how you're feeling, I do know how I felt when I've lost family members and I know that I felt extremely sad and lost and lacked motivation for a while.

All you can really do is surround yourself with friends and loved ones who can support you in this time and allow yourself to grieve however you need to. Noone can dictate how long that process is. You will just get to a point when you realize, that yes, you will probably still be sad and have moments where you breakdown...but that the best thing for you to do is to find a way to keep on living...

You will start remembering how great it feels to be in the gym. How you can find peace and solitude during a workout. That even when you are having a bad day, you can always put your headphones on and do some cardio or take it out on the weights. So whenever you get a chance to sort your feelings and are ready...pick yourself up and get those endorphins released.

I guarantee, it won't cure the pain...but it will help :)

Remember, don't force yourself, but also..don't forget about the positive benefits working out have for you. It's always there...whenever you're ready.

My thoughts and prayers are with you...

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Permalink Reply by Ms.Elena Fit on December 15, 2009 at 6:38pm

Thank you, Kai!
I feel so much better feeling support of people that I know. I did some cardio today finally and yes- It does help!
Oh, I didn't mean to start the new chain here, i hope you don't mind. I was absentminded when I did. January mixer is a new motivation to me, I hope to see yawl there!
Thanks again for kind words. God bless

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Permalink Reply by Sean Conaway on December 17, 2009 at 8:23pm

It took me over a year to get back in the gym when my mother passed away from heart cancer. I just hit a point where I wasn't happy with the weight I put on, and I always told her I would be a cometitive bodybuilder (since I was 7 haha) and I sad screw it, im doing this for her. I found that she was my motivation

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Permalink Reply by Steve on December 17, 2009 at 8:48pm

Fantastic bro! Thanks for sharing. I had the honor of running the 2001 NYC Marathon, just under 2 months after 9/11. Sure, they could have cancelled it. The city was still in shock and mourning, Ground Zero was still smoldering. Instead, it was one of the largest turnouts, runners wore shirts with names of the victims, and firemen lined the course, raised over the runners in ladders. The runners were clapping for the firemen. Not sure how to explain it, you but you hit it. Mourning is a healthy, natural reaction, but we can chose to honor them in such ways! God bless and good luck, my brotha! Lot's of folks here are willing and eager to see you succeed!

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Permalink Reply by Ms.Elena Fit on December 28, 2009 at 9:19pm

Thank you for sharing and for support, Sean. I know, time is the best doctor, but right it's so slow!
Your mom is still alive in your motivation. Keep it up! You are doing good job!

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Permalink Reply by Garrett Tyra on December 17, 2009 at 9:07pm

Elena, my mother had a stroke at the begining of the year, it paralized her left side for several months. She works out, doesnt smoke or drink and is in her fifties. Freak accident. I too didn't eat right and didn't workout for a few months. It just takes time, it's a healing process. I can't say honestly that there is anything that will take your mind off of it. It consumes you, i know how you feel. tires you and depressing. But it's just a sad thing that takes time. Don't be discouraged, it's normal for you to probably feel the way you do. Just do as much as you can without over doing it. Like kai said, surround yourself with loved ones. Start off slow. Make an appointment to get to the gym and just take it easy and slow.

I'm sorry and my prayers go out.

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Permalink Reply by Ms.Elena Fit on December 28, 2009 at 9:26pm

Thanks, brother. I can't surround myself with half of my loved ones- I left my family and friends in Europe when I came here. All I have is my husband and little son. Husband's family is here but it's complicated. But It's better than it sounds. God is my primary support, and today was the second time I went to gym. It felt good! And tomorrow is my b-day!
Thanks for support,
P.S I saw that you are a believer- keep in touch.

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Permalink Reply by Rommiean Marcell on December 18, 2009 at 9:06am

Im sorry to hear about your lost. When my grandparents past away it was within 5 months of each of their death. They practically raised me. I sat and watch my grandmother deteriorate right in front of my eyes for 3 months until she past away. Everyday of cleaning behind her and feeding her. After she past the only thing I could do is run to keep my mind off of her. I couldn't sleep and started basically living off of pills. Pills started to become my food it kept me up and they were suppose to be sleeping pills. All I can really tell you is let go and let God do his work. Its hard in the beginning but as time go by you will eventually heal. My prayers are with you and your family
BLESSINGS

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Permalink Reply by Ms.Elena Fit on December 28, 2009 at 9:34pm

Thanks Rommiean. I was in that situation- my grandma was dying from lung cancer (but she never smoked), and we took her to live with us (I lived with my parents at that time). And we watchedher gradually deteriorate on strong drugs. Now I look back and see how many people I've been a witness to die that it reminded me a saying :" What doesn't kill us- makes us stronger."
Well, I hope sleeping pills are not a problem for you anymore and thanks for your support. God bless

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Permalink Reply by Wheyfocused on December 19, 2009 at 6:50am

Elena,
I would look at this as a chance to relieve some of that stress. Focus on your workout, focus on being the best you can be. You know that's what he would want to begin with. Gym time always helps me clear my head. That personal challenege and exhausting yourself, plus the endorphin release, will definitely benefit you. Good luck in getting through the tough times.